I have lost track how many weeks it has been since I left Facebook. Perhaps it is because I was too busy doing other things. Like getting back to living my life again.
My Facebook existence was somewhat ridiculous. I had a 2 business pages, a page about eating locally in my community, and a page for this blog.
Between my 4 pages and my personal page I had over 1000 people who were my 'friends' or who 'liked' me. I also 'liked' at least 250 pages that I was interested in. Needless to say, my newsfeed was pretty busy!
All of my pages were growing quickly and people told me they liked what I posted. But all the while I was ignoring the little whispers telling me I was wasting my time and setting a poor example for my son by spending so much time online. One day I came to my senses and knew it was time to cut the cord. I consulted with my business partner and she was fully on board. We tied up our loose ends and quit cold turkey, businesses pages and all.
Since quitting Facebook, I have come across a number of articles and even a documentary about 'Facebook Addiction'. Just googling the subject brings up literally millions of pages posing questions like, "How to tell if you're addicted to Facebook" and "how to quit Facebook". Psychologists have even created quizzes to take that tell you how addicted you are. They have also coined a new term called "Facebook Addiction Disorder" or "FAD" for short. Yikes!
No question, I was addicted. Being an information junkie, FB was the place I could go anytime to read the latest information on everything I was interested in. I didn't need to pick up the phone because I already knew what all my friends were up to. Facebook gave me the sense that I was connecting to people from my life now and from my past and the rest of the world too through my blog and business pages.
But I understand now that it was all an illusion. I was more connected than I've ever been (in a technological sense) but I have really never felt so disconnected from my real life. The lack of true connection combined with information overload had me feeling downright depressed.
The connection that I really crave and need in my life is that which involves human interaction; not a computer screen.
I have always said that "if you have a business, you are crazy to not be on Facebook". Well, now I know that a business can survive just fine without Facebook. Both of mine are doing great!
I also am more aware now of how much 'noise' Facebook was creating in my life. Without it, my mind is clearer and I am able to focus so much more on everything I do.
I have come to a few conclusions on the whole thing...
- I think Facebook changes the way we perceive even our very best friends and family members. How often they are on Facebook, the photos and articles they choose to post and their status updates over time shapes our perception of them - and not necessarily in a positive way.
- Facebook makes us feel like we are communicating with people, when in reality, we are just reading and watching stuff about each other. And the conversations we do engage in on FB are so very public, taking away from their sacredness.
- No matter what you post, chances are you are pissing off at least some of your 'friends'. If you post something happy or positive, there are bound to be people who are annoyed or even jealous of your seemingly 'perfect' life/job/spouse, etc. and if you post something negative, people get pretty annoyed at that too. Thankfully, of the controversial things I have posted on FB (mostly on circumcision; surely one of the more heated debates going), I have just had 2 'friends' let it be known that I seriously pissed them off. It was a risk I was totally aware of and willing to take. On the flip side, I can't count the number of people who have thanked me for opening their eyes to the deception regarding the subject and know for sure that I've saved a few babies from having to endure it. So no regrets here.
- I believe people go in and out of our lives for a reason. And a time comes when your purpose in each other's lives has been served and you can each go your separate directions. In some ways, Facebook keeps us connected to people who are no longer serving our lives and whom we are no longer serving either.
Upon leaving Facebook and telling a select group of my 'friends', I feel like I gained a WAY better sense of who really cares about me and wants to be a part of my life. I'm also much more aware of the relationships that really matter to me as well. I feel like these relationships are being strengthened and are more fulfilling as we are connecting in different ways and moving away from the passivity that often happens with friendships on Facebook.
So now I am pissing off fewer people, enjoying more time in my day and less clutter in my brain. I suppose I'm 'out of the loop' because I don't know which of my friends is mad because they got cut off in traffic today or what my friends are eating for supper tonight , but I don't really feel like I'm missing out. What I do feel though, is that for the first time in a long time, I don't feel so 'busy' and I don't feel the 'pull' that Facebook has that made me want to 'check in' all the time so I didn't miss anything. I can live more presently, set a better example for my son, read more books, write more, and spend more time nurturing the relationships that matter most in my real life. And, that. Is. Awesome!
With gratitude,
Lori
